With all that is going on in my life, I feel like it is necessary for me to try to clear my head before going to bed tonight. This is pretty important considering I haven't been sleeping much lately and could use a good nights sleep. So much is going on right now and I have to keep in mind that I cannot let it stress me out to the point that it interferes with my life. Which is what it was doing up to this point. So hopefully this helps.
I have a ton of school work left to do over the next 6 days. And I don't even know if that guarantees graduation for me. I've dug myself into a hole and have kept it to myself for so long that I feel like, at this point, it is too late to come out with the truth. I will end up in two scenarios which I know all too well. SCENARIO A: I miraculously pull the grades out of my ass that I need and graduate. No one will ever know how little I worked this semester and it can all be swept under the rug and I can move on with my life. SCENARIO B: The truth will reveal itself through the form of me not passing a class or some other thing like that and I will have to confront a lot of people about why I am not going to graduate.
I do this to myself. Why? I haven't quite figured that out yet, perhaps the result of an entire lifetime of bad habits in regards to school. I honestly can say that school is the only thing that this happens with. Every other part of my life is good, at least from what I can tell. Who knows though... maybe I am in denial about the whole thing and have yet to realize that I am this way across the board. It's left to be determined, I guess.
That's all for now. Hopefully I can get a good night of shut eye.
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